Thankful...

I am so thankful for the people in my life. I wrote a few days ago about a great friend of mine who came to visit last week and today I am reminded of a great friend who I haven't been able to see in a long time. Before Josh and I got married he introduced me to B. Since we met almost 10 years ago, she has been a great friend who, even though we don't talk much, is one of my friends that I feel I am closest to in spirit. We have both been through huge storms and I know I can always count on prayers from her! As I was reading her blog today I was reminded that God loves us so much. Just like me, she has a son in heaven with Jesus. I am so thankful that I could read her blog today and see pictures of her growing family...which includes two sons. One of my favorite songs is Blessed Be Your Name. God gives and he takes away, but all the while we should be shouting BLESSED BE YOUR NAME, because he is always faithful and even though there are things in our lives that are taken away, he loves us so much that he returns that joy to us! I can't tell you how awesome it is to see the joy in B's face again!! I love you B!

Children's Walk 2009

Where Is Your Focus?

Have I ever said how much I love my church??? Well, I do! Every week I am challenged on Sunday morning during our worship service to be a better servant and follower of Jesus Christ. This Sunday we were challenged to refocus our lives on Christ. As I started to think of all the things I am focused on, I realized that God is one of those things but he is definitely not in the little box that indicates the main focus on my camera. This week I am striving to get him there! Some of you are probably a lot like me. There aren't a lot of sinful things (although there are a few) that stand in the way of my time spent with God, but it's things like playing with Ashby, cleaning, watching TV, facebooking, or just being lazy. My goal is to set aside a time each day where I can have real solitude time with God (not just time when I do my bible study while Ashby is running around playing). I challenge all of you to take a few minutes and figure out what it is that is taking time away from your relationship with God, good or bad and figure out how you can change things around a little so you can have a more focused relationship with him.

May we all make a direct effort this year to grow spiritually so that we can be a better witness to those around us and show them just how awesome our God really is!!

Another Step In The Right Direction

This week we got to spend some time with some of our best friends, the Smiths. We always know we are going to have a lot of fun when they get to visit! They are the type of friends that, it doesn't matter how long it's been since we've seen them, it's like we've never been apart! When we lived in Oklahoma, we were at their house all the time and Boomer fit right in with their boys. I think Boomer even thought they were his big brothers. Not long after Boomer passed away, Jessica told me that when I was ready, she wanted some of Boomer's shirts so that she could have a blanket made out of them. Through our grief journey we have been able to share the healing process with many people through many different things. So I am so glad that I waited on Jessica to be here with me to go through all of Boomer's clothes. The second day they were here, we got down all of the boxes out of the attic and went through all of his clothes, from birth to 2 years. I knew that the day I went through his clothes would be a hard day so I put it off as long as I could but i am so thankful that I have now done it and I picked out some very memorable clothes that I will be able to look at anytime I need to. I am so thankful to Jessica and her boys (Chad included) for all of their love and the support they have shown us through everything...we love you guys!!

Goodbye 2010

What a great year! I have so many things to be thankful for that there is no way I could ever list them all! One of the biggest blessings in my life is my husband. I never imagined I would find a man who was as great as he is. If it weren't for him, I would be having pity party after pity party for myself! He always finds ways to remind me how much God has blessed us and how much he loves us. I know that God made him just for me! And then there's Ashby...what can I ever say about Ashby? From day one she has been a huge blessing! She is growing up so fast and there is no way to hold on to today. I am trying my best to enjoy each day and cherish it as much as I can because I know that it will only be a short time and I will be looking back on these days missing them. Then, I have the best extended family in the whole world! I am so thankful for my mom and dad and my brother and sister. They have all loved me, even when I should not have been blessed with their love. They even married some pretty great people! When I was younger, I stood up in front of our church during a testimonial service and told the congregation that I had the perfect family. Even though now I know we all have flaws, I still feel like I have the perfect family! I have the world's best in-laws. Even though I only knew him for a few years, my father-in-law was one of the greatest examples of love that I have ever known. My mother-in-law loves me just like I was her own and I have the best sisters-in-law you could ever imagine! Not to mention they are married to some awesome guys! And what would I do without all of my nieces and nephews? They are all hilarious and awesome! There are so many more blessings would take too long to write about but I am still thankful for each one! I love all of you more than I could ever express. May we all allow God to work through us in 2011!!

Counting All My Blessings!

This is Ashby's Mother's Day Out Program at First Baptist. She was telling me that she could see herself on the tv at the back of the church! She was too cute!! I love her so much and I am so thankful that God has blessed us with her!

When Things Catch You Off Guard

Since Boomer went to live with Jesus, we have heard over and over again that the pain gets easier and easier to deal with over time. I guess that’s why it totally caught me off guard when I broke down last week and sobbed like Ashby does when she doesn’t get something that she wants. As I sat on the couch in Josh’s arms, I realized that I’m just like Ashby. There’s something I want more than anything and I can’t have it! Last year was a little easier than the year before so I just assumed this year would be a little easier than last year, but I was wrong. This year feels just like the first and I was not prepared for that. As I sit here spilling my heart out, I am looking at our stockings hung on the mantel. Yes, we still have Boomer’s stocking right there along with ours! As I think of all the things I won’t get to see him do this Christmas season, or the presents that I won’t get to buy, I start to have a pity party for myself. As I sat in choir practice last Saturday and balled because I won’t ever get to see him get up with all the rest of the kids and sing in a musical, I started having a pity party for myself. As I see all the shoppers out buying presents and looking happy because they are buying for all of their kids, I start to throw a pity party for myself. But as I think of what it might be like to see Boomer as he is now, in heaven with Jesus, I remember that all of the pain that I’m feeling right now is not forgotten. God knows exactly how I feel and he is holding me tight in his arms.

I read a book recently about a family that went through something similar to what we have gone through and it was very hard for me to read. One of the biggest differences in our stories was that they have a substantial amount of money and everyone knows that I stay home and Josh is a youth minister, so they were able to go on trips and leave work for long periods of time without worrying about money and they could take all of their loved ones to counselors and get them all the help they needed. As the story unfolded, I realized they had all these luxuries that our family didn’t have, I wish we could have paid for everyone that was at our house that day to go to a counselor to help them make it through what they saw, and I wish that we could have gone thousands of miles away from here for a long time. Then I also realized that God’s grace is sufficient and he provides for all of his children in ways that we could never imagine. Although the people in the book that I read did have many more opportunities than we did because of their financial status, we still have everything that we have ever needed. God is so much bigger than having money and friends in high places! He is a God of love and grace and peace. That’s why I know that even though my life is so small, God is so big and he will take care of even me.

Spending The Day With Ashby!

Since school started back this fall I have been trying to work as many days as possible. Because of this, I have spent many days away from Ashby and I have really missed our time together. Today was an awesome day. We woke up early and ate a sausage biscuit from McDonald's, then we gave Kali and bath, then we played with finger paints, then wrote in colored shaving cream, then went to my school for a little bit, then played outside!! I had so much fun just hanging out with her today. All I keep thinking is that these days are going by so fast and she is growing up and one day I'm going to wish that these days were back! Hope you enjoy these pics :)