Christmas!

Who loves Christmas? Since I was a little girl I have loved Christmas!! I learned, growing up in church, that Jesus is the reason for the season, Joy to the World the Lord is Come, and it was a Silent Night! I know that without Christ there would be no Christmas. I am so glad that Jesus came to earth and died and rose so that I could have everlasting life through him!!!

Every year at Christmas time I would look so forward to going to Granny's for Christmas Eve and Grandma's Christmas night. On Christmas Eve we would listen to the same cassette tape and make sugar cookies, date nut balls, and rolls at our house. Then we would travel the long 5 minute car ride over to Granny's to share our goodies with all of my cousins. There are six siblings on my mom's side of the family and I have 18 cousins (and now between all of the cousins we almost have 40 kids) so you can imagine that it was a little hectic at Granny and Pappaw's house. I loved getting to play outside until it was time to eat, then eat all the scrumptious holiday food, then beg our parents to let us open the presents under the tree! Among the many traditions that I share with my family is Christmas Caroling. Before we could open any presents,the girls would pile up in our van and the boys in Aunt Phyllis' van and off we went to sing to all of our close family friends! The list has changed over the years but it is still a tradition that must be carried on. We would finally get back to the house and open our presents, then our parents would rush us out the door to get back home before Santa came to visit our house! I could go on and on about Christmas, but I will stop here...some of the greatest memories of my life are from Christmas time!!

Now that I'm older and I get to spend Christmas with Josh's family, I realize that not everyone shares a crazy Christmas with a house full of screaming kids, but I still love it! I cannot wait to step into Granny's house on Christmas Eve this year and start making memories with Ashby! Her memories will be different than mine, but they will be filled with love. Big families are crazy but I wouldn't want it any other way!

Maybe Not How You Wanted Your Life To Turn Out...

Please read this carefully...

What do you think God's view of your life's puzzle looks like? Do you think it has any resemblance to what you see when you think of your puzzle? We all know that there are pieces of our puzzle that don't match up to what we think the whole thing looks like. We can't see it all so to us some of the pieces are a very big disappointment! Some people feel like just because God hasn't made our puzzle look the way we want it to look means that our whole life is a mess. I believe that even when things don't turn out exactly like you want them to, God is still in control! Instead of looking at only one piece I think we should look at all the surrounding pieces. The only way we can have blessings in our lives is if we let them be blessings. Take a look around you and instead of counting everything as loss, reach out for the blessings! As all of you know there have been pieces of my puzzle that I would love to rip up and throw in the garbage, but I know that the puzzle is a beautiful creation. So, I take the messed up pieces, hand them to God and allow him to continue to piece together the puzzle of my life. He tells me that I am beautifully and wonderfully made and that he holds every bit of me in his hands. So why be bitter about the things I don't like. Just take it all in and give it to him and he can make a masterpiece out of a bunch of scribbles!
I hope you can look for the blessings in your life and concentrate on that instead of wallowing in thoughts of your life not turning out the way you had planned!

What a mighty God we serve!

There have been times in my life where I knew that God was real and that he did awesome things but I didn't really understand it like I do right now. Nine months ago, right before Boomer's birthday I spoke at a women's meeting at a church in our area. The whole experience was awesome and I really felt like I was able to share Boomer's story in a way that would help someone that might need it. Little did I know, a woman was there that had been dealing with some of the "God" issues that I had dealt with during my grief journey. Her husband passed away a few years ago and she was still feeling angry with God. I was told today that because I shared Boomer's story, this woman realized that she could get on with her life and do something with what God had given her. As my friend told me this story and as I told Josh this story and as I told my mom the story....all I could do was cry! GOD IS REAL AND HE DOES AWESOME THINGS!! My prayer was that God would use me (and Josh) in anyway that he wanted to help others who had been through the same things that we have been through. I am so thankful that he can turn something completely negative into something so totally positive! As long as someone asks I will travel wherever it takes to share Boomer's story!

Now, here we are in November and I have been asked to come and speak at a women's meeting in a town about an hour away in January. Please pray that there will be some woman there that will benefit from Boomer's story. God does not ask us to move mountains, he only asks us to BE WILLING to pick up one small stone at a time.

College!!!

The time has come for me to get out the pens, paper, books, spirals and courage! I finished filling out the FAFSA, completed my admissions application and I'm going to meet with my counselor today. Josh and I had a really long "talk" about me going back to school yesterday. For some reason when this subject comes up it is always a very touchy one. I have already completed 2 1/2 years of college so you are probably thinking (just like he does) that this should be no big deal. I should just be able to fill out all the paperwork and skip to school with my backpack, pens and paper, right? Wrong! THAT'S NOT WHAT IT'S LIKE FOR ME!!! I finally realized yesterday that the reason this is always a touchy subject, is because I am scared out of my mind! What if I fail...what if the teacher calls on me and I don't know the answer...what if I look weird...what if I don't fit in...what if I can't catch on as fast as everyone else...what if I've already forgotten everything that I've already learned...what if it's been so long since I was in school that I can't do it????? These are all the things that are running through my mind. Hopefully going to the counselor today will help me get refocused and ready to get back at it! Please pray that when the day comes for me to begin the journey back to school that I can boldly walk into the classroom with my backpack on and my pens and pencils ready to go!!! I'm really going to need it!

Blessings

I feel so truly blessed! I have a husband that loves me and takes care of me, a daughter that has the cutest expressions (she could make anybody smile) and a son that made such an impression on people that people are still talking about him. Ninteen months and 20 days ago I really thought that I might not ever be happy again but today I am exclaiming to the world that I am happy and thankful to God for making me this way! This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it!!!

Baby Turkett

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted anything but I've been a little busy.
About 6 months ago I was sitting in a restaurant in Frisco with Tracie and Steve, Mamoo, Nonnie, and Susan. She started crying and scared us all to death to tell us that she was about 15 weeks pregnant!! She was balling and we were all so excited! Yesterday morning we got a text at 4:55am telling us that Maren Rhys had been welcomed into the world! She was born at 4:44am and weighed 8lbs. and 4 oz. and was 21 inches long! We still haven't seen her yet but hopefully we will see her very soon.

CONGRATULATIONS to MICHAEL, SUSAN, TARA, LARRY, ALEX, AND JUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Uncle Josh, Aunt Christina and Ashby can't wait to see you baby Maren!

Proud Wife!

When Josh came home from work today he was just beaming! He told me that a guy (Judson) that was a teenager when we were at Calvary in Henderson called him today. Then he started this long story about their conversation...



Judson recently went to the wedding of one of his best (girl) friends from high school. After the wedding he and a few of his friends were sitting around talking at one table and a couple tables over was the bride's father and some of his friends. He kept hearing the bride's father talking about this new youth minister in his town. Not knowing where he lived, he didn't really pay much attention. Here and there he would catch a thing or two that was being said about this youth minister. Things like, our principal loves him, our secretaries love him, even a few of the teachers have said great things about him. He is at the school all the time; at football games, volleyball games and he is seen doing stuff all over town. He also heard that he has been one of the greatest influences on the kids in his town and he is really making a difference in their community. When he got to the part about the youth minister's two year old son passing away about a year and a half ago Judson's ears perked up. He leaned over to their table and said, "Are you talking about Josh Croswell?" The man (the superintendent of Daingerfield/Lone Star ISD) said,"Yeah, that's who I'm talking about, how do you know him?" Judson went on to tell him that Josh is one of the reasons he makes the good decisions that he makes, and that he (and Josh King) was one of the biggest influences on him when he was a teenager!



Wow, what a compliment!! I am so proud to call Josh Croswell my husband and I am so thankful that he is allowing God to use him in such a huge way! I don't think I could be any more proud, even if something like that was said about me!

Fall is Here!!

It's that time of year again! I walked outside this morning and you can just sense that things are beginning to change. No more sultry summer days, no more dips in the swimming pool, no more sunburns, and no more sweat!
I don't know what it is about fall but it is definitely one of my favorite seasons. The smell outside, the beautiful color of the trees, the aroma of burning brush piles, and getting to snuggle up with a big cup of hot chocolate on the back porch! Something about walking outside and smelling all that fall has to offer gets me excited.
I hope that all of you have a wonderful fall season this year!

Have Fun!

This is for all the mommy's of young ones and the mommy's to be!
How many of you have ever said to your little one, "No, let me do it. I don't want you to get dirty." I am guilty of saying this on more than one occasion! As I was getting Ashby out of her bed this morning she was saying, "nummy?" Yes with a question mark, like can we go get some food cause I'm starving! So we went into the kitchen, I put her in her high chair and started making her some oatmeal. She waited patiently in her little chair until I was finally finished. I brought the oatmeal over to her and started trying to feed it to her, but she was wining and putting her hands in front of her face like she didn't want it. I have realized over the past couple of months that this doesn't mean I don't want any, but it means I want to do it myself! So I said, "No, let me do it. I don't want you to get dirty." She looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes and I thought to myself, "what difference does it make if she gets dirty? We have a bathtub, soap and time!" I gave her the spoon and the bowl and said, "have at it!"



A few minutes later she started saying, "Mommy, Mommy!" So I went over and she wanted me to help (picture me with a big smile on my face)! As I am typing this she is sitting in her chair with oatmeal all over her face, hands, hair, shirt and Kali (our dog)! It is one of the cutest things I will see today and she is so proud of herself for doing it all by herself!



Sometimes I feel like this is how we are with God. He tries everyday to help us do things and we don't want his help because we want to do it all on our own. But just like Ashby started calling for me because she needed help, we call for him because we need his help! He is always there to pick right back up where he left off. I know with our kids there will come a day when they really don't need our help anymore. They will be all grown up with kids of their own. But there will never be a day when we don't need the help of our Savior! Even when we think we can do it on our own he will be right there to pick up where he left off! Isn't that a wonderful feeling!!

Marriage

7 Years!!! Sometimes it seems unreal that Josh and I have been married for 7 years, but other times it feels like we have been married forever! For our anniversary we really didn't do much. Josh went to go play golf so me and Ashby stayed home and baked some sugar cookies for him.
When I was growing up, one very vivid memory I have is from my Grandma Brown's house. Every time we went to her house the very first thing we did was run into the kitchen to see if there were any sugar cookies in the cookie jar....of course there always were!

Every time I smell or taste those cookies it brings back great memories of my Grandma. So to get back to our anniversary...we spent most of the morning measuring, mixing, rolling and baking the sugar cookies. I had lots of fun and I think Ashby did too! Josh had lots of fun eating the finished product!

We have always heard that the 1st and 5th years of marriage are the hardest. For us it has been the 6th and 7th. During the past 2 years there have been times when we just wanted to strangle each other, but God wrapped his arms around us and held us until we knew that there was no one in this world that we loved more than each other.

We can see how a major tragedy could cause a marriage to be stressed and even end, but we are living proof that with God all things are possible. I know without a shadow of a doubt that Josh is the one for me and I love him more today than I did 7 years ago when I married him!

VACATION!!!!!

It's vacation time!! As I think back over family vacations I am reminded of lots of great memories that have gotten better over the years. At the time they were moments that I thought would never end, but now I look back and laugh with tears in my eyes! Let's take a short walk down memory lane.

The first vacation memory is from when I was 10. We went to Galveston to see the ocean for the first time. We had an awesome time at nasty, stinky Astro World, then it was on to the beach! We got there and it was awesome! The waves were huge (for kids) and we were having a blast. While we were in the ocean my dad realizes that he can't find his keys (yes we were in the ocean). Somewhere in the bottom of the Galveston Bay are my dad's keys, to this day.

The second great vacation memory I have was from when I was probably 12. Every time we had a chance we went to Arkansas to visit family. My Granny and Pappaw are both from the most beautiful part of Arkansas, the Ozarks. I believe it was over spring break one year when we decided to take a small hike up B Mountain in Cox Valley. We have a cousin that lives at the base of the mountain so we began at his house. The adventure began at about 10am. We looked at beautiful trees, saw lots of fossil rocks, lots of moss, and beautiful scenery! We saw some cave dwellings and felt like true outdoorsmen (and women). As we were on our way back down the mountain, a tree limb caught my dads keys and ripped them off his keychain. As he started looking for the keys we kept walking because we didn't realize that he wasn't with us. As we kept going we realized that he wasn't with us and we weren't sure how to get back. Needless to say, we made it back down the mountain 4 hours later wet and starving!!

The last vacation memory I will share with you was when I was 14. We went on a trip to Biloxi, Mississippi and to this day we still say it smells like a big stink bomb. We were going to the beach one day to have lots of fun in the sun. Little did we know that dad was once again planning on making lots of memories. As we got closer to the beach we saw a jeep driving on the sand. I'm not sure what my dad was thinking at this point, in our Astro minivan, but as we drove past the sign that said, "NO DRIVING ON THE BEACH," I'm sure he wasn't thinking at all! Not long after we passed the sign we were no longer moving. Yes, we were stuck, on the beach, with no way of getting unstuck. As soon as my mom realized what was happening her and Noey got out of the van. Stacey and I got out of our seats and layed on the floor of the van so no one could see us. I still remember the policeman asking my dad what he was thinking. I'm not sure of the answer, but I'm sure it sounded something like, "I'm a Brown and we know everything!"

As I said before, we have had many memorable vacations! I'm sure this vacation will be no different than any other. Especially since the back windshield of Noey and Jennifer's Trailblazer has already busted out and we haven't even left our house yet!!

Stay tuned to find out what our next adventure holds!!!

Boomer Kisses!

One of my favorite things is hugs and kisses from my babies! Before Boomer passed away he had started giving me "big lip" kisses. He would grab my cheeks and stick his lips out as far as he could and then give me a kiss. That was one of the things I missed so much after his accident! I longed to hear his voice, hold him in my arms, and get big lip kisses. Well, this week, Ashby has started giving Boomer Kisses! She can't quite pucker up like he did but she has started grabbing my face and giving me kisses! I love it!!! I just tell her to give me a Boomer kiss and she grabs my face with those precious little hands and pulls my face to hers and it is the best feeling in my world right now!! She has no idea what she is doing to me when she does things like that. Isn't it awesome how God knows just how to take care of you? I don't know why he had to take Boomer so early, but I do know why he gave Ashby to us when he did. He knew that she was exactly what we needed for just a time as this!
I hope everyone finds something this week that God is doing just for you!

Good Friends!

There are not many things that are better than hanging out with friends that you haven't seen in a long time. We went to Shreveport for my sisters surgery yesterday (which went really well) and then stopped through Marshall on the way home to surprise some friends. Mike and Becca Roberts are two friends that we have both known for a really long time. When I was a little girl at Arp First Baptist church they went to church with us. When I met Josh he was going to TBI in Henderson. Before we went on a date one night he had to go talk to a guy that he was going to school with so we stopped by there before we left. When he came to the door I realized it was Mike! Isn't it weird how small the world really is! Well anyway, at about 5 o'clock we stopped by their house for just a minute, and ended up eating dinner with them and leaving at about 10. We reminised about seminary and when I was little going to their house riding horses and making monkey bread. Their boys are all grown up (Josh 18, Kasey 15, Brett 13). They are such an awesome family. When I think of them I think of what an awesome minister Mike is and what a loving mother and wife Becca is. My prayer is that when people think of us they feel the same way that we feel about the Roberts...They are really good friends and even though we don't see each other often, we know we could count on them for anything!

And just a side note:
Ashby is just like her Boomer! While we were waiting on my sister to get out of surgery she was the star of the waiting room. She crawled up between two women on a couch, she played cards with two teenage girls, and she made friends with an older man who was visiting with his family!


I love my daughter and I am glad that she is a social butterfly! And it makes me smile to think of how friendly my son was too! I love my family!!

No More Pacifier!!!

Well today is the second day of Miss Ashby with no pacifier! It has been kind of tough but we are definitely not turning back now. I really thought bed time would be the worst but it is actually nap time when she wants it the most. I thought I would share a few pics of how cute she looked with it in her mouth so we can all remember the days! Enjoy :)

Church Camp

Reading Books

Hanging out on the back porch!

I will have to admit that I am a little sad about the pacifier being gone. I don't know if it's that she's growing up a little bit or if it just means that we are entering a new phase in our lives or what but it does make me a little sad. On the other hand it makes me really happy!! No more crawling around on my hands and knees trying to find a pacifier so that she will stop screaming in the middle of the night, no more searching the car, searching the backpack, and no more wasting money on new ones because none of the searching turned up a pacifier!
Thank you God for giving us two beautiful babies that we love more than anything!!

Grandma Brown

For any of you that don't know my Grandma Brown passed away a couple of weeks ago. I have written about her before on my blog but I just want to tell you about what it was like right before she met Jesus face to face.
As I said in my last post about her, she was one of the most awesome Christian women I have ever known. She had 12 children whom she loved very much and lots of grandchildren and great grandchildren that she also loved.
My mom would call and give me updates on her because Josh and I were at church camp and we couldn't go and see her. The first night she called she said that Grandma had been seeing Grandpa all day and then there was something else. She also said that she kept asking him, "Who is that little boy with you?" Mom asked her if it was Boomer and she said yes but we also think that it could have been a baby that she had premature that was stillborn. Who knows who it was....that's just awesome no matter how you look at it!
The next night as we were walking out of the evening worship time mom called back to let me know that my Grandma had passed away. As she began telling me about what happened the day of her death I was amazed at her once again. As people were coming into her room to visit her or care for her or clean up she would ask them, "do you know Jesus?" What a legacy!! Even until the end she was witnessing to people and trying to win souls for the Lord. Oh if I could only be like my Grandma Brown!


This is almost the whole family. When there are this many people it is hard to get everyone to look at the camera and be still so this is the best picture I could get!

Playing Catch Up!!

Just to catch you up a little since I have just kind of jumped back in to this thing:

December was a tough month. It was our first Christmas without Boomer and Josh's dad (James/Papoo) was at home with Hospice. Our normal Christmas traditions were put on the back burner this year because we felt that we could not do our normal thing because it would be too tough. My family came here to our house for a couple of days and we had a blast. It was bittersweet because it was Ashby's first Christmas but it was also the first Christmas without Boomer. Then...we went to Josh's parents for Christmas with his family. Papoo was able to sit in the room with us while we opened presents and had the occasional tear or two. All in all Christmas was sad but good.

January was even tougher than December. On January 22nd we were all in the room singing and praising God when Papoo recieved the ultimate healing and saw Jesus face to face! He also got to see Boomer again! I will never forget, right before he passed away he looked up to Mamoo and moved his mouth like he was trying to say something to her. Who knows what it was...was he telling her how awesome it was to see the angels, was he saying I love you, was he saying I see Boomer, or was he just saying can't wait to see you again??? Many questions but one thing's for sure...He is completely healed and enjoying the most awesome experience that we could never imagine!!

February was the last month of our first year without Boomer. Minr and Boomer's birthdays were this month. We had a birthday party just like we would if he was here. It was hard having a party but I figured it would be even harder to act like it wasn't his birthday. That day was actually harder than the one year anniversary of his death. We had cupcakes and blew up lots of balloons. We invited all the kids we would have invited normally. I made little strips of paper for all of them to write on and they wrote their favorite verse on one side and a memory of Boomer on the other side. We tied them to the balloon strings and then had prayer in the front yard and then let the balloons go. It was also a bittersweet month.

March was of course tough but God also made it a great month. We went camping with about 20 people from church on the 18th-21st to try to be out of our normal surroundings. It was definitely a good idea because we were surrounded by people from church that helped keep our mind off of things. It was an experience that we loved and will try to do again next year. Ashby's birthday was also this month but we decided to wait and celebrate it the first weekend of April.

April was a fun month. We had Ashby's first birthday in our backyard with lots of friends and family. I don't know how much she enjoyed it but we had a blast!

May was another great month. Not a lot happened but it was great.

Through this whole past year we have had a lot of ups and downs but we have had a good year. Even when you think that nothing good could ever come out of certain circumstances God makes a way for things to be okay. We are a living example that GOD IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!

Beaver's Bend

At the beginning of this week we went to Beaver's Bend in Oklahoma with 5 of our high school students. It was a blast!! We got to sit in the biggest chair in Oklahoma!!!
We went kayaking, bumper boating, swimming in some stinking cold water, and tubing at the lake!

I think tubing was one of the funnest things I have done in a long time! I laughed so hard my stomach was hurting!


This is me and Emily. I probably stayed on the tube longer with her than Katie but I definitely laughed more with Katie. Katie was already on the tube and I was trying to get on and I flipped the tube over on both of us. I was laughing so hard that I sucked so much water in my nose it took forever for me to get all the water out of my head!! I'll just say one more time....WE HAD SO MUCH FUN!! We will definitely make this an annual event for our High School students.

I'm Back!!!

Okay...I know it has been a little while...maybe a long while since I have put anything on here but I am back. Ashby is taking a nap and I have a new laptop so I am back in business. Sorry to all three of my followers for not updating this in a while (lol). I will try to start blogging at least once a week (more often if I can)! Hope you enjoy what is going on in our thrilling life :)